Walnelli® & Co-Conspirators

Meet the Whole Gang

A great big heart and a little sass… that’s Walnelli in a nutshell (pardon the pun). Walnelli is an eternal optimist, always looking for the good in others, even Ruby Slacker Rubber band, who basically sits around and does nothing, and Mr. Grump Ass, the old white coffee mug who is both opinionated and crotchety.



Sassy. Passionate. Fun Office Manager.

Wears many different hats and loves peeps!

Favorite Quote: “I wonder how long I’m going to be stuck in this shell hole?”

Likes: Cory Correctional Fluid, tattoos, and anything pink

Dislikes: Office politics, party poopers, licking envelopes

Mr. Grump Ass

Mr. Grump Ass

Authoritative. Opinionated. Traditionalist.

Walnelli’s boss

Favorite Quote: “That’s Mr. Grump Ass to you!”

Likes: Miss B, Smooth Jazz, and Grumpy Cat

Dislikes: Millennials and dancing

Cory Correctional Fluid

Cory Correctional Fluid

Heroic. Secretive. Strong. Forgiving.

The Office Super Hero who promotes an “it’s okay to make mistakes” office culture

Favorite Quote: “A mistake is just a do over!”

Likes: Capes & masks

Dislikes: Aggressive females & barking chihuahua dogs

Curvy Paper Clip

Curvy Paper Clip

Fun. Extravagent. Creative. Sexy. Single.

The life of the party.

Favorite Quote: “If it isn’t fun, why do it?”

Likes: Any kind of party, tp’ing others cubicles, and glitter

Dislikes: Organized, boring looking desks and hearing “zip it!”

Cutty Scissors

Cutty Scissors

Back Stabbing. Social. Outspoken. Cutting.

Office Gossiper

Favorite Quote: “Guess who that mother chucker is sleeping with now?”

Likes: Chit-chat and hanging at the water cooler

Dislikes: Thick paper and the truth

Gooey Glue Stick

Gooey Glue Stick

Athletic. Collaborative. Cohesive.

Team Player who’s always running.

Favorite Quote: “Let’s stick together!”

Likes: Paper

Dislikes: Sand Paper

Mikey Micro

Mikey Micro

Sly. Controlling. Egotistical.

The office micromanager.

Favorite Quote: “I need to weigh in on that decision.”

Likes: Taking credit for other’s work, climbing the corporate ladder, treating employees like mushrooms by keeping them in the dark

Dislikes: When others succeed, recognizing employees

Miss B

Miss "B"

Authoritative. Mean. Insecure.

The Office Bitch

Favorite Quote: “I’m sorry dear, in order for you to insult me, I must first value your opinion!”

Likes: Red lipstick and designer hand bags

Dislikes: The word wimpy and blonde jokes

Missy Memo Pad

Missy Memo Pad

Cheap. Shy. Persuasive.

A cheap memo pad from China.

Favorite Quote: “Write something on me and stick it to ’em!”

Likes: To cling to others and bright pink ink

Dislikes: Anyone who crosses her lines


Overdrive aka Oh-Dee

Burnt out. Overused. Tired. Listless.

The Office Zombie.

Favorite Quote: “I love you couch – You understand me.”

Likes: Brainy people and extra shots of anything

Dislikes: Slackers, motivational posters and the alarm clock

Ruby Slacker

Ruby Slacker Rubber Band

Lazy. Demotivated. Unpopular. Bands with others.

Office Slacker

Favorite Quote: “I’m tired of getting flicked off!”

Likes: Walking fast, long lunches and surfing the web

Dislikes: Action items, performance reviews and people who actually work

Ruggy Roach

Ruggy Roach

Unhealthy. Entitled. Hardy.

A bug that crashes in the office break room.

Favorite Quote: “Oh God, please don’t let Twinkies go extinct!”

Likes: Potlucks and doughnut crumbs

Dislikes: Stevia and green food

Stanley Stapler

Stanley Stapler

Indecisive. Passive Aggressive. Independent.

Manager of people who can sometimes be a “real tool”

Favorite Quote: “Boy do I have an opportunity for you!”

Likes: Attending meetings and taking credit for other’s work

Dislikes: Sitting in a cubicle and doing actual work

Woody Pencil

Woody Pencil

Sharp. Witty. Educated.

Skinny green pencil who likes writing simple things.

Favorite Quote: “I wish I was mechanical, because sharpening hurts.”

Likes: To write simple praise

Dislikes: Cheap ass trophies and engraved pen sets